Already getting a reputation...

Today I picked Rowan up from nursery and noticed something was missing. I dressed her in the morning in her tights, skirt and shirt, but when I went to get her, the skirt was no longer there. The nursery worker had to explain to me that they had a bit of an incident when changing Rowan's diaper. She is quite a wild one and Lance and I have to use quite a bit of force to actually get her diaper changed. I can only imagine what the scene was when the cute, gentle older woman tried to handle my maniac. Last time she was in nursery, the worker told me "Wow, she sure is a little ringleader, isn't she?" I wasn't sure what to take of that, so I asked if something happened. She said "Nothing in particular. She just has a way of getting the other kids to do exactly what she wants them to." Great.

Maybe I should write an apology letter. Or, better yet, just type one up, keep several in the bag, and hand them out as needed. An example letter could read

"Dear _________________ (fill in the blank with the name of babysitter, nursery worker, pediatrician or small child),

I apologize for my behavior today. I know you are just here to help me or play with me. But, I don't like diaper changes, being poked and prodded or any sort of restraint. For my friends, I would really rather if you just play with toys I'm not interested in. And really, if you are eating or drinking in a room full of other kids, you need to expect to share. And if I happened to hit, kick, headbutt or bite you, I'm sorry it hurt. You see, I am not bothered when those things happen to me, so it's hard for me to understand why anyone else would care. I actually really like a good headbutt.

You see, I really am a fun little girl, I just have an overabundance of energy and a considerable amount of persistence. I know that I shouldn't hit, kick, bite, scream, roll off the table or have temper tantrums, but I will do anything to get my way. If things aren't going my way, I will try pretty much anything to turn that around. My mom has tried an abundance of disciplinary techniques, none of which have worked. I didn't like time-outs the first time I had one, but then I got over it. Really, it's a small price to pay for playing in the dog water. Spanking doesn't work either. My mom and dad tried it (gasp) when all else failed, but I think it's pretty fun. After my mom spanked my hand, I decided I would just spank it myself. It's pretty funny. It makes a fun sound and makes a stinging sensation that I really like. You should try it sometime.

Anyway, I'm sorry that the day didn't go as you expected. But I thought it was just great. I loved walking around in my tights and shirt while people pointed and said "Look at little Rowan!" People often tell my mom that kids like me might be tough as children, but we often grow up to be CEO's and poiliticians. So, at least you'll be able to say "Hey, I knew the President of the United States when she was a little girl." And for my mom's sake, I hope you don't have a scar to prove it.

Better Luck Next Time,

Rowan Elizabeth Pellow"