Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Where can I buy a BB gun?

Ah, the peace and quiet of a sleeping child...I have finished my most recent book (Nickel and Dimed, a recommendation from Steph) and am ready to start the next one (Small Wonder, also recommended by Steph). I decided to do a quick e-mail check before ignoring today's laundry and curling in bed with a book. Then I hear it. The tap-tap-tapping of Mr. Woodpecker outside my bedroom wall. We have had quite a relationship with Mr. Woodpecker since moving in. I'm not sure how many times we have had to have wood replaced due to woodpecker holes, but the most recent time was just last month when we had a ton of work done to the house including replacing lots of wood and painting the whole house. It seems as soon as the paint was dry, Mr. Woodpecker was at it again. Initally, Lance and I could bang on our wall and were guaranteed at least a few moments of respite from the bird, but now the banging does nothing. The only thing that will scare the bird away (temporarily at that) is walking downstairs, walking outside and walking over to the side of the house. He will then fly away (always before I can hit him with the shoe I bring along). Sometimes said woodpecker will begin his little tap-tapping as early as 5 or 6am, sometimes during the day, but almost always during Rowan's nap. So, I am comtemplating a BB gun.

Now, I say contemplating, but actually I really have no idea where to purchase a BB gun (though I'm guessing a friendly Wal-Mart associate could help me) nor do I even know how to shoot a BB gun (though I would imagine a somewhat well-educated adult could figure it out--or rent A Christmas Story for tips). Even if I did own a BB gun, I wonder if I could actually bring myself to pull the trigger. I have always had a strange fear of both birds and dead things, so a dead bird would probably be more than I could handle. I would surely have to leave it in the yard for Lance to dispose of later, which is what I do anytime Sebastian makes a kill (and, for the record, this has included birds, mice, opposums, squirrels, turtles and even a hawk). Plus, really, what would the neighbors think? A somewhat respectable mom who is always outside playing with her toddler is now a gun-wielding maniac? And, lastly, I think the woodpecker is on the endangered species list, and though I personally don't think eradicating such a pest would be so bad, I think killing one would be an actual crime. So, I guess I'm not actually comtemplating purchasing a gun, shooting the bird or living out this dream at all. But, really Mr. Woodpecker, I'd appreciate an afternoon of quiet laziness. Because of you, I'm off to do laundry.

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